Thesis #15: In just a few more years, the current homogenized “voice” of business—the sound of mission statements and brochures—will seem as contrived and artificial as the language of the 18th century French court.

The homogeneity of voice predicted by the Cluetrain of 1999 has been realized. What’s worse, is that its artificiality has this creepeing effect that leaves no corner of communication untapped.

The Cluetrain has been cited as a precursor, possibly even a crystal ball, into the world of Social Media that we live in today. Of course it seems that way, hindsight being 20/20 and all. Realistically, though, I think what the Cluetrain did was recognize patterns in how humans communicate in real life, how humans communicate in business, and the differences between them. Social Media, whatever it can be defined as at the very moment that I’m writing this essay, is the convergence of those conversations. Human conversations and business conversations.

But we’re experiencing a culture clash.

Funny for some, uncomfortable to watch for others. Either way, a poor representation of reality.

The language we use to describe business activities is almost equally as absurd if you consider it in the context of the rest of your life. In the rest of your relationships.

I recently “overheard” a dialogue recently, a couple of Tweets shared between between Dave Troy and Tony Bacigalupo about “sustainability” as related to business.

Sustainability is a term that’s thrown around in business a whole lot, typically tied to business modeling. Even worse, it’s found it’s way into marketing, and we’ve started talking about building “sustainable relationships” with our business partners and customers.

Think about that for a second. It sounds positive at first, but put it into context.

Right.

The homogenized business voice is so unaware of itself and how contrived it sounds that it doesn’t even know that it’s in a hole, let alone how to dig itself out. Meanwhile, the human conversations are more real than ever before, with more people discovering their own voices and how powerful they can be when they are honest and authentic.

Here’s the problem. Discourse in business is taking place as if it’s still “us” versus “them”. Like this is a high school dance and the boys are afraid of touching the girls.

Cooties. Ew.

I’ll let you in on a little secret.

There is no them.

Thesis #4: Whether delivering information, opinions, perspectives, dissenting arguments or humorous asides, the human voice is typically open, natural, uncontrived.

What this really says is: don’t change your voice just because you think “doing business” requires a different voice than your own.

If you’re one person, you have one voice. Your own.

If you are a company of multiple people, you have a collection of voices. A collection of voices and the motions and patterns that they represent can be called a culture. While harder to measure and certainly harder to control, corporate cultures still represent a voice, and that voice is heard and perceived by your customers.

So regardless of a solo company or a gigantic company, are going to be heard by your customers.

Once your customers get used to that voice (assuming they stick around long enough to do so), don’t lead them into a bait and switch. Maintain consistency. If your voice changes from “how can I help you” to “how can you help me”, you’ve successfully alienated the customers you’ve worked so hard to gain the trust of.

Pro-tip: the human voice is easiest to maintain when it’s not faked in the first place. So don’t fake it. We can tell.

Thesis #3: Conversations among human beings sound human. They are conducted in a human voice.

So far,  listening has been a theme. In order to be an effective listener it helps to know what you are listening to.

The crux of this thesis (and coincidentally, the two that follow it) is that in order for conversational marketing to work, it must take place between human beings speaking the same language. The problem is that companies, while made up of human beings, are traditionally dehumanized. Dehumanization removes all traces of the human voice, the language that customers are speaking in. Makes it kinda tough to be a part of that conversation, dont’cha think?

Things like “the royal we”, using a we that doesn’t clearly identify who (or how many) people it represents, is a common mistake. If you’re a single person company, own that. If you’re one of one hundred employees, say who you are and what part of the company you represent. This boils down to transparency and even more basic, honesty.

Automated responses and legalese are other common mistakes. They are usually designed to confuse the customer into forgetting what they were there for in the first place.

These are examples of misplaced voices in customers’ social dialogues with one another.

The socializing that happens in the marketplaces outlined in Cluetrain is between customers, not vendors. Unfortunately for both parties, the languages they speak are not the same.

Travel tips from the Cluetrain

I admittedly haven’t traveled extensively to non-English speaking countries. It’s not out of ignorance that I don’t speak more than two and a half languages (1. English, 2. geek, and 2.5. enough French to navigate Montreal), it’s that I don’t do it enough for it to stick. One of the most common tips I have received while traveling is to learn enough of the native language to ask if they speak English in their native language. It’s not universal, but many popular travel destinations are inhabited by people who know a little bit of English, and if they do, they will appreciate the gesture of asking in their language. If they do not, knowing what “no” sounds like and how to say “thank you” is also worthwhile.

The lesson here applies to Cluetrain: If you are intending to participate in your customers’ conversations, you’re going to need to use enough of their language to not be percieved as rude. Much like world travel, languages and dialects vary across different communities. Even if you’re not 100% versed in “customer speak”, learn at least enough to not be rude. If you’re lucky, and you’re authentic in the gesture) they will appreciate it and quite likely welcome you.

Once you’ve made first contact without having the door slammed in your face, you’re going to need more than pleasantries to sustain a conversation.

Lucky for you, speaking “customer” isn’t as difficult as you might think.