"Trying to understand the future without understanding the past is like trying to plant cut flowers." -attr to David McCullough at #NCOC

September 15, 2011 11:47 am via Seesmic twhirlReplyRetweetFavorite

@pahlkadot

Jennifer Pahlka

Exactly.

Want to know more about the past or the present? Sign up for my workshop this weekend.

Why are you solving this problem in the first place?

If someone knows the answer to “why”, then they almost always already know the answer to how and are really just looking for affirmation or a sanity check.

If someone don’t know the answer to “why” yet, I point them down that path and ask them to return when they have an idea.

In both cases, I’m asking the seeker to look into themselves for the answer. It’s transformative.

Somebody says something, we respond with the first thing that comes to mind.

Somebody does something, we do the first thing that comes to mind.

Somebody writes something, we comment the first thing that comes to mind.

It’s not that our reactions are wrong, it’s that they’re reactions. They’re not fully formed thoughts or actions or statements, run through the filters of critical thought and reason. And most of the time, they’re shared in a way that’s only going to elicit more reactions, rather than more critical thinking and reasoning.

The next time you’re about to react, stop. Pause.

Take a deep breath.

Count to three.

Do this ten times.

And see how your reaction changes.

That’s another story.

He said this in passing but I had to scribble it down to share:

There are managers who manage by putting out the fires. There are managers who manage by attaining predictability. And then there are managers who manage to greatness.

The firefighting technique – where you operate in constant crisis – not only is hard on you but it’s hard on your teams.

The predictability technique isn’t sustainable for an entirely different reason. Managing with a goal of predictability means that nothing unexpected happens. Not many of the truly great things in this world came the way they were expected to.

Managing to greatness means embracing chaos, understanding the value in serendipity, and not just talking about and promising empowerment, but actually learning from and understanding it’s implications and working hard to give power away.

Managing to greatness means that, almost all of the time, it’s not about your greatness. It’s about unlocking the greatness in others.

Taking good advice is even more difficult.

Asking for advice the most difficult.

I’ve noticed that the exchange of advice typically comes in two forms: prescriptive and transformative.

Prescriptive advice is full of assumptions. A person prescribing advice is giving information that is usually a projection of their own experiences, ideas, ideals, desires, and agendas without taking the time to realize the “history of the patient”. While advice from their own experience tends to be the kind of experience that people are most confident giving, it’s missing an element of context for the recipient.

Phrases like “you should”, and “it’s important to” signal messages that are absolutes, and while they might be the right advice for some or maybe even many scenarios, the assumptions that come along with prescriptive advice are most likely to generate the need for ongoing advice, much like a dependency on a medication.

Transformative advice is like a vitamin. It’s full of nutrition. Instead of covering up your pain, it gives your brain the tools it needs to recover from the problem you’re experiencing on your own. Providing transformative advice gives the recipient an opportunity to really expose the issues they’re experiencing rather than simply pointing to the body part that hurts. It requires some diagnosis on the part of the advice giver. But rather than projecting personal experiences, ideas, ideals, desires, and agendas, the advice-giver provides context, and perspective.

Phrases like, “what if”, and “what do you think about” lead questions that can help bring the recipient to action, rather than define the action explicitly. This not only lets them factor in information that you as the advice giver might not be privy to, but takes them through the exercise of thinking about the problem for themselves instead of needing to come back and ask the same question a second time.